We named the baby last night. Brad and I had not talked much about names, it is easier that way because he changes his mind and I get my heart set on something and get frustrated. Anyway the one name we had discussed was Caleb so we named the baby Caleb. But then Jack and Kadie did not think it was fair that they did not get a choice so Jack picked Micheal and Kadie picked John. It is a mouthful but we like it.
I felt great physically and emotionally yesterday until about 5pm. Then I realized that planting flowers on the deck was maybe not as important as taking a long nap. I am laying low today. Still surrounded with Gods peace but letting my body heal with a bit more rest.
In someways it all feels surreal. Like it almost didn't happen. That makes me sad. It seems like a 4 and 1/2 month blur. I know I won't forget but I worry I might. I feel pretty good, it is hard to tell I was even pregnant, my tummy has shrunk considerably and I have energy that I have not had in months. It is nice to not look pregnant when you are no longer pregnant but it seems like every thing is just returning to normal so quickly.
I do feel like I grieve when I feel like grieving, I am sad when I feel like being sad. I do not feel like dwelling there. I do feel happy and joy at times, being outside, watching the kids, laughing at my funny husband. It is just all a bit surreal. Hard to change directions, hard to not change directions.
I am blessed by you all, the words of love and encouragement have meant the world to me. Off to snuggle with Issie, love you.
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5 comments:
Love his name. I am so glad that you are feeling at peace and that you are choosing not to dwell in a place of sorrow but rather rejoicing in the gifts of life and trusting the Master planner. Hope you soak in a bit of sunshine and as those flowers blossom and as you get through the seasons ahead, God will remind you of your brief time with Caleb - probably when you least expect it - and you will remember... I had just one miscarriage and it was an early one - my first pregnancy - I don't know if that baby was a boy or a girl, but I named "her" Mariah - as in "they call the wind Mariah" - "her" time with me was very brief and I tell the girls about "her" and today as the wind blows outside my window, I think of that baby - but not with sorrow - just as a part of life that came and went and is no more...
Kelly, it's so good to hear you "speak" this way. It sounds like you are healing so well. Both physically and emotionally. Love the name and that you all named him. Blessings to you friend.
Love you~
I absolutely, positively love Caleb's name. I love two middle names. It's not a mouthful at all.
Caleb is from the Hebrew word meaning faithful
Micheal is from the Hebrew word meaning Who is like God?
John is from the Hebrew word meaning God is gracious.
My heart melts knowing the meaning of your baby's name. God will faithfully see you through, because he is gracious and no one like Him can heal the hearts of the wounded like He can.
Considered my arms around you, friend. May you feel His uncontainable love, faithfulness and peace.
Perhaps our babies are up there working together.
Kel, I don't think I told you that I love his name - I think it's very neat how you all picked it! I love you and we're still praying for you all!
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