Starting with Jack, it is funny because I could not find any recent pictures of Jack. This explains partly the stage he is in. He cannot be bothered to pose for a picture and when he does he wants it to be some action move that comes out blurry or some funny face that I end up deleting since it ruins the picture. Or if I do get him to pose it is with attitude or solemness, so if I am lucky I catch a quick picture when he is enjoying life and unsuspecting. Like at the beach.
Jack is 10 and a half, turning 11 in May. He is growing up fast and we are already in the beginning turmoil of adolescence. He is moody and feels like he deserves a detailed explanation for every decision we make. He questions our logic and tries to negotiate a more "sensible" plan. He has burst of anger that when I just let him express it, he recovers from in very short time. But if I try to tell him it is not ok to feel how he is feeling, we are in for a battle. I have a lot to learn about giving him the independence to feel his feelings and to not make it about me all the time. He has a strong sense of right and wrong and justice. It takes him some time to forgive but if he is allowed to express himself fully, he forgives quickly. He is in a stage of really trying to know what and who he can trust. His dad is remarrying this spring and it is creating a lot of uncertainty and transition for him. He has done some serious soul searching recently... about what he believes and accepting the fact that some people just choose not to believe in Jesus or even in God. This was super hard for him to understand. Super hard to accept that when people are told the Truth, that they may choose to reject it, super hard to fully understand the consequences of that rejection. He wants to rescue people, especially people he loves, or he wants to reject the Truth, thinking that would eliminate the consequences. He has really been wrestling with it all, especially since the girl that his dad is marrying is rejecting God. But he has finally come to a place of acceptance and understanding. It is still a battle but it has been good to watch him make his own investigation (reading Case for Christ) and asking the hard questions. A lot of growth.He is suddenly obsessed with football and has a football in his hands constantly, doing all kinds of imaginary plays in the living room and in the hallway. He plays football at every recess with his buddies at school and he loves the Vikings-totally bummed they missed the Super Bowl. He is even having his own Super Bowl party. Soccer is what he plays right now and he loves it but is pushing hard for football. I am struggling due to the injury rate in the sport especially at his age and because I love to see him play soccer but we are still trying to figure it all out.
He continues to love music and has been writing and recording new songs on this software he got for Christmas. He has such an ear for music that he can pick up most songs on his guitar from just hearing it a few times and has really learned the power of practice. His voice is sweet and he has such passionate lyrics that you know those thoughts run deep.
This is a fun age, I can talk with him, most of the time and he can reason and understand things at a whole new level. He is inquisitive and wants to understand things. We have just started to teach him to cook, and he just loves the independence. Instead of just doing chores we are focusing on training him to do what he will need to do as a man and the provider of his family. When we focus on it like that, he is totally willing to do it and do his best. He really wants to be strong and responsible. I just love him.
He also has kept his strong sense of humor. He is sassy and sarcastic but has a great belly laugh. He still loves to lie in bed and talk and pray with me at night, and I cherish it. He still loves for Brad to tickle his back and play catch. He reads to his sisters and plays monkey in the middle. He helps Issie get ready to go and she follows him around the house. He is really the best big brother and these girls just love him.
This is an age to keep me on my toes, to understand the purpose behind what we are doing and to be diligent in what is really important and learn to let go of all the things that really don't matter. To enforce respect but allow independence and emotions. To encourage him to be who God made him, not who we thought he should be or what we want because we think it is best. I have to constantly remind myself that he is a gift but not my creation. He is a reflection of God not of me. Ouch, how self serving we can become.
I do love him so. He makes me laugh, he drives me nuts, he warms my heart. Bless you boy.
1 comment:
Wow, Kelly - I think you have a gift for connecting with middle-schoolers - you so get it - the need for respect is so important to boys at that age - not just mushy-mommy love... definitely allowing them to have their emotions and independence - cooking is great! I think when parents try to control emotion and discipline emotion when they determine it to be a respect issue... it just creates horrible relationship issues between the child and the parent... something we struggle with in my step-son and his mom... I'm so glad to see you acknowledge all of Jack's strengths - he sounds like an amazing boy-to-be-man - how great that he is gifted musically! You are wise to expect respect but allow for his emotions to play out and for him to forgive on his readiness... letting boys simmer rather then demanding an explanation for big, loud emotions is so worth it - 9 times out of 10, they know their behavior is "nuts" but they can't stop it in their "moment" (I can relate!) and then within 24 hours they almost always acknowledge and say, "Whoops, I didn't mean to be that way...." Loved the post - nice to see you walking by his side spiritually and in all ways. You are a great mom!
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