Ages and Stages- Jack

It seems like forever since I have posted about the kiddos, they are all into so much right now and if I don't documented it I feel like it will be lost in the dark hole of my memory. I never seem to have enough time to write these days so I thought I would break it up and just update one kid at a time.

Starting with Jack, it is funny because I could not find any recent pictures of Jack. This explains partly the stage he is in. He cannot be bothered to pose for a picture and when he does he wants it to be some action move that comes out blurry or some funny face that I end up deleting since it ruins the picture. Or if I do get him to pose it is with attitude or solemness, so if I am lucky I catch a quick picture when he is enjoying life and unsuspecting. Like at the beach.

Jack is 10 and a half, turning 11 in May. He is growing up fast and we are already in the beginning turmoil of adolescence. He is moody and feels like he deserves a detailed explanation for every decision we make. He questions our logic and tries to negotiate a more "sensible" plan. He has burst of anger that when I just let him express it, he recovers from in very short time. But if I try to tell him it is not ok to feel how he is feeling, we are in for a battle. I have a lot to learn about giving him the independence to feel his feelings and to not make it about me all the time. He has a strong sense of right and wrong and justice. It takes him some time to forgive but if he is allowed to express himself fully, he forgives quickly. He is in a stage of really trying to know what and who he can trust. His dad is remarrying this spring and it is creating a lot of uncertainty and transition for him. He has done some serious soul searching recently... about what he believes and accepting the fact that some people just choose not to believe in Jesus or even in God. This was super hard for him to understand. Super hard to accept that when people are told the Truth, that they may choose to reject it, super hard to fully understand the consequences of that rejection. He wants to rescue people, especially people he loves, or he wants to reject the Truth, thinking that would eliminate the consequences. He has really been wrestling with it all, especially since the girl that his dad is marrying is rejecting God. But he has finally come to a place of acceptance and understanding. It is still a battle but it has been good to watch him make his own investigation (reading Case for Christ) and asking the hard questions. A lot of growth.

He is suddenly obsessed with football and has a football in his hands constantly, doing all kinds of imaginary plays in the living room and in the hallway. He plays football at every recess with his buddies at school and he loves the Vikings-totally bummed they missed the Super Bowl. He is even having his own Super Bowl party. Soccer is what he plays right now and he loves it but is pushing hard for football. I am struggling due to the injury rate in the sport especially at his age and because I love to see him play soccer but we are still trying to figure it all out.

He continues to love music and has been writing and recording new songs on this software he got for Christmas. He has such an ear for music that he can pick up most songs on his guitar from just hearing it a few times and has really learned the power of practice. His voice is sweet and he has such passionate lyrics that you know those thoughts run deep.

This is a fun age, I can talk with him, most of the time and he can reason and understand things at a whole new level. He is inquisitive and wants to understand things. We have just started to teach him to cook, and he just loves the independence. Instead of just doing chores we are focusing on training him to do what he will need to do as a man and the provider of his family. When we focus on it like that, he is totally willing to do it and do his best. He really wants to be strong and responsible. I just love him.

He also has kept his strong sense of humor. He is sassy and sarcastic but has a great belly laugh. He still loves to lie in bed and talk and pray with me at night, and I cherish it. He still loves for Brad to tickle his back and play catch. He reads to his sisters and plays monkey in the middle. He helps Issie get ready to go and she follows him around the house. He is really the best big brother and these girls just love him.

This is an age to keep me on my toes, to understand the purpose behind what we are doing and to be diligent in what is really important and learn to let go of all the things that really don't matter. To enforce respect but allow independence and emotions. To encourage him to be who God made him, not who we thought he should be or what we want because we think it is best. I have to constantly remind myself that he is a gift but not my creation. He is a reflection of God not of me. Ouch, how self serving we can become.

I do love him so. He makes me laugh, he drives me nuts, he warms my heart. Bless you boy.

38

Friday was my birthday. 38. For several reasons, I feel significantly older than last year. Not just a year older but many years older. Not really in a bad way. I just feel like this past year has grown me more than the average year. Some was having Caleb leave early for heaven. But that was not all of it. I think part of it might be just really moving out of the having babies stage and into the raising the family phase. Some of it is my son moving so fast towards his teenage years, some of it is giving away all our baby stuff. A lot of it is my journey with God and learning to trust Him more and more. The uncertainty of our days and the reality of how nothing is really within our control except our desire to trust God and have faith in His faithfulness has really hit home this year. It has been a great year, I would not trade it for an easier one but I feel like it lasted more like 5 years.

For the 5th year now, I had my girlfriend birthday dinner. I really look forward to this night. I love to cook and really love to just be home hanging out on the couch with some good girlfriends. So I had fun making a yummy dinner. This year we had Filet Migneon, so good. I always need the chocolate too so I created a new yummy dessert this year, which was far to rich to have at 9pm and kept most of us up all night. We enjoyed the dinner, laughed, cried, shared our lives and really loved each other. Most of the girls left at midnight, but Mel and I talked to nearly 2am. It was wonderful..... until the next morning when Jack had a 8am soccer game, ugh.

My girls- Melody, Marnee, Me, Kristi and Michelle.

My late night girl :)

Rich chocolate cups.... I made the chocolate cups then, filled them with layers of chocolate ganache, Giradelli fudge brownies, fresh strawberries puree, and whipped cream. So good!

Chocolate covered strawberries too, of course.

The next day after a nap and some recover, the family celebrated my birthday with a dinner out (no clean up) and presents and chocolate at home. I am super excited that Brad got me my new food processor- yipee! I broke mine a few months ago and have been using this tiny chopper and it sucked. I LOVE my new one, it does everything and I needed something bigger so my salsa did not explode out the sides. Thanks honey. I also got a Bread Machine from Trudy (Brad's mom) and his cousin. I am super excited to try that too.

Me and my honey.

The clan. Bunch of blondies. Lucky to get Issie to look at the camera when chocolate is involved. She is a chocolate lover!

It was a nice birthday, I am interested to see what this year has to offer.

Kid-free Weekend.... Yipee!

It is sad to say that Brad and I have not had a night away together since Issie was born over 2 years ago. We have both gone places and do things, we have had lots of dates but not really away. So for Christmas, I planned a weekend away for us. I did not want to go far, or plan anything, I just really wanted us to be together, kid-free! So we went to the Marriott on the waterfront in downtown Portland last Friday and Saturday night. I cannot tell you how much we needed this trip. No diapers, no crying, no fits, no sibling bickering, no wake up calls at 6am, no responsibilities at all. It was lovely. I slept in til 9:30 both mornings, which is huge! We walked on 23rd street and went in all the stores that are a nightmare to bring kids to. We had steak and got yummy blood orange martinis. We watched movies in bed (we don't have a tv in our bedroom so this is a luxury). We took naps and just lounged around. We went to the pool and actually both got to sit in the hot tub at the same time, just imagine that! We were together and it was wonderful.
My honey, refreshed and rested and ready to do nothing or anything. What freedom.

We had very yummy food and tried a different martini at every restaurant. I am not a huge drinker but I like a cocktail now and then, especially when we do not need to drive and do not have anybody or thing to take care of. My favorite was the blood orange martini at Joe's on 23rd street. Close runner up was the fresh berry martini at Ruth Christ downtown.
The view from our bedroom window. Even though we were only 15 min from home it felt like a real get-a-way. It was funny how by breakfast on Saturday we were already missing the kids. It was so nice to be just us but we quickly realized what a hole would be in our lives if we did not have some little people to come home to. Issie did really well while we were gone but had me hold her for almost the next 24 hours straight after we returned home. She is in a clingy stage anyway so this really pushed her. Kadie did seem to miss us at all. And Jack was happy to be at his dads most of the weekend since it was such a big football weekend and that is what they love to do. They were in good hands, and we were so blessed to get away and even more blessed to have them to come home too. I guarantee it will not be another 2 years before we do that again!

I have a new job....

well that is what it feels like. I have finally taken the plung to really start eliminating processed foods and toxins from our diet and our home. Many things have led to this season, and after much resistance and denial, here I am. I feel ready but change is hard on all of us. I have had tremendous help and support from my dear friends that have begun this journey ahead of me. But it is still hard. I am not all organic, and don't expect to be able to afford that anytime soon but I am leaning toward more whole foods and more power foods. I am also limiting refined grains and sugars. Yes this means cereal, which for anyone who knows me, knows this is a big one.

Brad has been super supportive, the kids much more reluctant. I had to describe it to Brad as a new job so he could understand the depth of this change. I love effeciency, I love structure and organization ( I think I am the only one in my family who embraces this so you may not see it much in my household, but it is in my heart). Right now, I have been changing our meals, our recipes, the stores I shop, the foods I pick, the things I pack in lunches, I have been baking more, cooking differently, changing my cleaning products and dealing the the emotional reactions of everyone who is greiving the loss of something in our household. It is exhausting. Everyone told me baby steps but that is difficult, once you really understand what you are eating and how it is messing with your chemistry and your health it is hard to just keep eating it.

So I would love prayer as I try to balance this all out. The kids need prayer too as change is hard on them too. I am embracing a healthier and more energetic future. Everyone will adjust but change is hard.